I’m sick. I have a cold and anyone that really knows me knows that I like to be babied and pampered when I am sick. Well, when you are a widow, there is no longer a spouse to do the pampering. My stuffy nose was horrible last night and I tossed and turned. Then around 4am I awoke from a wonderful dream …..
In my dream, I was laying down on the couch and Don came over and put a blanket on me and laid down with me. He laid there facing me, rubbing my arm. He didn’t say anything. He just laid there looking at me. The dream felt like it went on forever, just the two of us laying on the couch looking at each other. No words were spoken. Just looking into each others eyes. Then … it ended.
When I woke up, I tried very hard to go back to sleep to hopefully see him again, however, he was gone. But, I felt such a wave of peace when I woke. I smiled and felt like a warm blanket had been wrapped around me.
I have had dreams about Don since he passed on 7/7/14, but this was the first dream where he VISITED me, not just me dreaming about him. It was amazing. I swear to you he was there with me. I felt him and the longing in my heart for him is so intense today.
Grief is such a weird thing. Some days I am fine and think that I can go ahead and start attempting to meet someone and then something like this occurs and all I want is my husband back. It just isn’t fair.
But, I am not going to focus on the fact that cancer sucks and that life isn’t fair, what I am going to focus on is that once again I saw that sweet face of the man I love and I know that he is watching over me.
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